Matt Stell’s If I Was A Bar sounds like a mix of a 90s breakup song and Morgan Wallen’s Happy Hour. It is the perfect song representing everything his ex hates, but he loves, in the form of a bar.
The song starts out with Stell describing a bar with a never ending happy hour, the coldest beer in town, La-Z-boys for barstools, and taps that don’t run out with every kind of whiskey. Then the listener gets their first glimpse into knowing that the singer is talking to his ex with the line And that one red wine you don't like, the kind of place you'd never be caught dead inside.
Then Stell bursts into the chorus:
If I was a bar, I'd be a beer can dive
I'd have a little buzz in my neon light
I'd have a sawdust floor and a cover band playin'
With a fiddle and a steel guitar
I wouldn't have this broken heart
Wouldn't take your leavin' half as hard
I wouldn't be fallin' this apart
If I was a bar
The next verse is savage:
I'd have a songs-you-hated jukebox
For all my friends to sing
And every game that's ever played
On way-too-big TVs
I'd have your picture on the dart board
And let your ex's drink for free
If I was a bar, that's the kind of bar I'd be
If I Was a Bar is a stark contrast to Stell’s most popular song, Prayed For You. I can’t believe one of the lines is, I’d have a songs-you-hated jukebox. That is hysterical! It’s nice to hear the honky tonk side of him!
Listen to If I Was A Bar and let me know your favorite line!
Jack Wilkinson